Tuesday was a day of dread.
Monday saw the return of my glorious leader to work, after her summer holidays. This was bad enough. She’d no doubt be revivified. Full of vim and vigour, with a plethora of new tasks for me to perform. New hoops to jump through to prove my worth – not just as an employee, but as a human being. Although – of course – I am not a human being. I am a human doing. Or something.
What was far worse was the one-to-one meeting that was scheduled for Tuesday. This is a monthly meeting that is not for discussing the details of my job. This one is far more sinister. This one is to discuss my career plans, my performance to date, my areas for improvement, my opportunities. Continue reading A sense of impending doom
I mopped the flop sweat from my brow as I arrived at the office. I was flustered beyond measure. My experience on the bus was unpleasant this morning. Nothing more than usual I would guess, but with my sugars low my rational mind was on a little break. I logged on to the computer (so people would know that I was in the building) and dashed downstairs for a slice of toast, a boiled egg and a banana (as always, a creature of habit). To address the sugar crisis, I added a cheeky bowl of porridge to my tray – purely in the interest of restoring my mental equilibrium.
As I was wolfing down my bowl of gruel, I got to thinking about my daily journey to work and how it could be improved. The two obvious solutions are not currently possible – working from home (which would eliminate the need to commute) is a luxury not allowed to us plebs. Management seem to believe that this grim and hostile industrial estate is good for our souls. The other alternative – driving my very own automobile – might be an option one day, if I ever pass my driving test. For the moment I use the bus.
There are some simple ground rules however – not just for my journey on the bus, but for all public transport adventures – that would make for a far more pleasant trip. I am sure there are many more, but these are my personal Top Tips for Public Transport users. Continue reading Top Tips: Public transport etiquette
It’s been a while since I’ve told a tale about my journey to work. This is nothing to be worried about. Each morning I still bravely face Dublin’s public transport system, and boldly go where thousands of others go with me – to the badlands of Dublin’s industrial estates. There’s a reason for my silence about my commuting adventures. You see, I have discovered that a forty minute bus journey is an opportunity for some extra sleep. Continue reading Get on the bus, Gus.
I have been at my present job for just over a year. As a precondition to starting work I needed to pass a medical examination by the company doctor. Obviously I passed as my presence here on a daily basis would otherwise be strange. Each year a follow up medical is mandated. Continue reading A morning medical
So far, this morning has been one of squalid misery. Having tossed and turned for most of the night, I finally fell into a deep sleep at about 6am. Imagine my mood when ninety minutes later I heard the repugnant sound of my alarm clock. Continue reading On the buses
‘So how was your weekend in Amsterdam?’ asked a colleague over a slice of brown toasted batch bread, in the staff canteen this morning. Continue reading Conversation at breakfast
Rarely do I discuss my evening commute – the journey where I return to civilisation, from the armpit of Ireland – the industrial suburbs of Dublin. Perhaps it is because my heart is lighter – the workday is over and I have an evening to spend, as I see fit. There’s no sense of looming doom at this time. My spirit is lighter. In the evening I look on my fellow passengers with more goodwill and less fear (speaking of which it’s worth noting that Bruiser and Beyoncé are never on the evening bus). Continue reading Gobnait and the Greek
I tumbled out of bed, and I stumbled to the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of cold tap-water.
Continue reading 9 to 5
I had intended to get the earlier bus. By walking that little bit extra distance, I can board four stops later than usual. This enables a later departure from my house. Continue reading FIGHT!
The sound of the alarm in the morning is a noise that appals me. It is so piercing, so insistent, so relentless. So inhumane. A clock to the left of my bed, my telephone to the right, they are programmed to start ringing five minutes apart. Just in case I unconsciously smash one against the wall in my sleep. It is wise to have a backup. Continue reading A shortcut through gangland