When I get my driving license (whenever that may be – I have the test in a month, but I am well aware of how tricky it can be to pass, so I need to stay realistic) I do not ever want to get into breakfast discussions with colleagues, about the traffic on the way to work in the morning. I’ve just had the most mind-numbingly dull bowl of porridge, and boiled egg of my life – and these are not thrilling foodstuffs at the best of times.
This morning my breakfast companions were all male. I don’t want to engage in stereotypes about the sexes, and I am a firm believer in equal opportunity for everyone. However I have observed that there is a distinct difference in the topics of conversation over morning gruel, depending on whether you sitting with men or women. Continue reading Men v women – why I will go straight to hell
I had an early night last night. I wanted to feel refreshed and energetic for the day. The long weekend in Amsterdam was still working its way through my system. By Thursday however I ought be feeling revivified.
Having finished my bottle of manly anti-perspirant the previous morning, I got dressed after my shower today, without dousing myself in freshness. Continue reading The smell of adventure
Days like this are dangerous for your career. Continue reading Days like this
This blog post will not be new to anyone sees my Facebook updates.
However seeing as it concerns my bus journey to work, I want to store it in a more permanent and accessible location than Zuckerberg’s platform – I have vague notions of turning these accounts of my daily trek to the wastelands into a musical (called ‘Why Me?’ – the theme song will be a voiceover, by the angelic Linda Martin – aged 39.)
That last paragraph is not remotely true, except for wanting to compile stories of my bus journeys in a central location. People seem to enjoy these journeys far more than I do. And I can smell potential.
On Thursday morning I had a dental appointment. Afterwards feeling all tender, I made my way to the top of O’Connell Street, to reach the bus, to whisk me away to the nothingness of my work location. I turned left onto Parnell Street.
The gathered crowd and the wailing shrieks on the pavement outside the electronics store Cash Encounters, drew my attention. Continue reading Dirty old Dublin town
I know that I often moan about my journey to work in the morning, and about how I find it to be lengthy and tiresome. Well that’s my own choice I guess, thanks to my desire to live close to town – even though I work in the industrial wastelands of county Dublin.
That said, it is rare that I make comment on how difficult the job of the bus driver can be. And how they can display an admirable patience in the face of some blatant hostility. Continue reading The hero of Dublin Bus – and the speccy-four-eyed b*ll*x.
It’s back to school time for the children of Ireland after their summer holidays. I know this – but not from any interest or involvement in these people’s lives. I have figured it out because of my bus journey to work this morning. I am alert to change, despite being barely conscious until after my second cup of coffee each day. There were teenagers in school uniforms present on the bus today. My scientific analysis indicates that primary school children are not back just yet – thanks to their continuing absence from public transport. I expect them to reappear by the end of the week. Continue reading Back to school
Tuesday was a day of dread.
Monday saw the return of my glorious leader to work, after her summer holidays. This was bad enough. She’d no doubt be revivified. Full of vim and vigour, with a plethora of new tasks for me to perform. New hoops to jump through to prove my worth – not just as an employee, but as a human being. Although – of course – I am not a human being. I am a human doing. Or something.
What was far worse was the one-to-one meeting that was scheduled for Tuesday. This is a monthly meeting that is not for discussing the details of my job. This one is far more sinister. This one is to discuss my career plans, my performance to date, my areas for improvement, my opportunities. Continue reading A sense of impending doom
I mopped the flop sweat from my brow as I arrived at the office. I was flustered beyond measure. My experience on the bus was unpleasant this morning. Nothing more than usual I would guess, but with my sugars low my rational mind was on a little break. I logged on to the computer (so people would know that I was in the building) and dashed downstairs for a slice of toast, a boiled egg and a banana (as always, a creature of habit). To address the sugar crisis, I added a cheeky bowl of porridge to my tray – purely in the interest of restoring my mental equilibrium.
As I was wolfing down my bowl of gruel, I got to thinking about my daily journey to work and how it could be improved. The two obvious solutions are not currently possible – working from home (which would eliminate the need to commute) is a luxury not allowed to us plebs. Management seem to believe that this grim and hostile industrial estate is good for our souls. The other alternative – driving my very own automobile – might be an option one day, if I ever pass my driving test. For the moment I use the bus.
There are some simple ground rules however – not just for my journey on the bus, but for all public transport adventures – that would make for a far more pleasant trip. I am sure there are many more, but these are my personal Top Tips for Public Transport users. Continue reading Top Tips: Public transport etiquette
It’s been a while since I’ve told a tale about my journey to work. This is nothing to be worried about. Each morning I still bravely face Dublin’s public transport system, and boldly go where thousands of others go with me – to the badlands of Dublin’s industrial estates. There’s a reason for my silence about my commuting adventures. You see, I have discovered that a forty minute bus journey is an opportunity for some extra sleep. Continue reading Get on the bus, Gus.
I have been at my present job for just over a year. As a precondition to starting work I needed to pass a medical examination by the company doctor. Obviously I passed as my presence here on a daily basis would otherwise be strange. Each year a follow up medical is mandated. Continue reading A morning medical